The Best Football Chants

Right it’s the World Cup, England are playing shite, but there is one discipline within the game where we excel in this country. Football chants. So here’s a few of the best I’ve ever heard in this country.

John Terry is having a party, Bring your missus and your charlie!

5-1, even Heskey scored, 5-1 even Heskey scored.
(Sung about the famous England 5-1 win over Germany to the tune of Go West.)

What’s that coming on Gerrard’s bird, is it a gangster? Is it a gangster?
(Sung to Steven Gerrard by Man Utd fans in the wake of rumours that Gerrard’s wife had an affair with a gangster to the tune of Monster by The Automatic.)


Those idiots playing Friday are not fit to wear this!

10 men couldn’t lift, couldn’t lift Frank Lampard, 10 men and their dog Spoc, couldn’t lift Frank Lampard!
(West Ham fans to their former player to the tune of the Chelsea chant 1 man went to mow a meadow.)

Posh Spice is a slapper, she takes it up the arse, and when she’s shagging Beckham, she thinks of Frank Lampard.
(Sung by Chelsea fans about the mega-famous Spic Girl to the tune of My Old Man’s a Dustman.)

If you tolerate Rix, then your children will be next.
(Sung to the tune of the famous Manic Street Preachers song in the wake of Rix’s arrest for having sex with a 15 year old girl by many, I heard it first at my beloved QPR.)

Gary Neville shags his mother, and his sister and his brother, all the Neville’s shag each other, it’s all fucking incest!
(Sung at many a ground about the inbred-looking Neville brothers.)

Paul Ince, is a wanker. Paul Ince, is a wanker.
(Sung at QPR for years to the tune of Go West.)

A fine bunch of chants I’m sure you’ll agree. Sing them at your own behest.

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